Tuesday, August 13, 2002

well it's been like 4 days...huh? i've been busy. I quit smoking for 1 and a half days....i was sooo proud :) i'm smoking now though....so i guess i just suck and can't quit...i have no will power. But tomorrow i hafta sing so i'm gonna not smoke until after rehearsal...try to make my pack strech for the week. i figure 2 smokes a day will hold me over. I smoked re today though because my asshole sister was around. she sucks and smokes too but always yells at me about it...oh well.

i am the crappiest dancer, i swear to god, i'd give my vagina to be a good dancer....seriously. i have no coordination and iwhen i get the dance i can't sing the song i get all distracted and shit. oh well....maybe itll come to me eventually. i dunno i'm beginnaing to rethink this whole theater thing...it's a lot harder than i though and anyone who says acting isn't a hard profession is full of shit. it's hard....there are sooo many elements that all hafta be perfect in order for you to create the feelings and thoughts and stuff on stage and actually convey them to the audience. it's hard....way harder than any feckin high school show. i don't really hate those broads anymore...,they still kinda piss me off and i'm still like kinda begrudgeing toward em...yeah....but the whole singing part is coming together much better for me....my mom helped me out for like 3 hours today....she rules....
about my mom....she has these staples in here head like Steve-o, but instead of his balls she has staples in her forehead....there must be like 20 in there. It's crazy and looks cool in a freaky horror movie way....she's getting them all taken out tomorrow...or today i guess. whatever. se is lookin pretty good...her b-day is in 12 days.

i dont have a job...i need money so i'm gonna hafta go give some plasma....boooo.....and i gotta clean my friggin room.booo......

Friday, August 09, 2002

my mom had her facelift today....she came home at around 6 oclock and was looking like hell came up and gave her a good beat down. It's soooo gross....like her eyes are all sewn up like uh...like have you seen in the wax museums the torture chambers where people have their eyes all sewn up....yeah they's totally what it looks like....just grosser. then i hafta give her pills and ice and crap, and this is the nasty part, there is this little bottle thing that is called a drain and it collects fluid that drains from where the dr made cuts and stuff....i hafta empty it like every 4-6 hours it's like bubbly blood and i'm freaked out by it.

But back to me and my boring ass self.

So i had a cigarette....okay i had a pack to make up for lost time....now i have a sore throat and am gonna quit for real...i bought some nicotein gum. TAKE THAT CAMEL BASTARDS! Mmm....turkish royals are the hit....but not anymore! it's getting too hard to sing well with all the crap in my lungs and throat....so i'm quitting cold turkey...wish me luck...

oh yeah...today i went to the mall to get quick headshots done, and i saw what i thought was one of the sexiest males ever. oh yeah. he had like blueish green hair and a sock wrist cuff(just like me)....it gets better...he is kinda tall with perfect build of muscle but not too skinny...side burns...hot....and he had a girlfriend~burn.... anyway he checked me out from the mall enterence and i smiled at him and waved...he winked....i wanna sleep with him.... His girl didn't see. If she had there woulda been a brawl. She was pretty big n tall too ya know...not like fat, but like at least 6ft and healthy. I think i looked better. At least at the moment....i was all looking smashing cause of my pictures. yup....*sigh* he was hot...oh hey here's my idea

If you know of a hottie who would like just to have sex now and again and doesn't have any diseases you can pick up an application for sex or boyfriend status....the app will be posted as soon as i create it....

i'm writing a musical.....or a play....it's gonna win a feckin tony....DANZA! BEEOTCH!!!

Wednesday, August 07, 2002

I hate girls. they're all bitches and need to be slapped especialy the "silver spoon" type who've never been told off in their privilaged lives!

where does my anger come from?! well i'll fuckin tell ya. So i'm in this show right and i'm the youngest person and i dunno what the hell people's problems are but the whole fuckin rehearsal these bitches were talking shit like i couldn't here them, but i could...man i was so steamed i just wanted to turn around and tear them a few new assholes...but i didn't cause that woulda been ignorant...and they already think i'm ghetto(well not ghetto , trashy...they don't know what the word means) so i had to bite my tounge and try to concentrate on singing but it's hard when ya got two ugly ass bitches behind you talking head. Ya know. Damn they are older too so i dunno what the fuck their problem is....i've figured they are either jealous (of what i dunno) or totally insecure....either way, being rude to people like that is so uncalled for. Granted i'm not the nicest person but c'mon, if i don't like somebody i don't sit around and talk shit...i go to the perosn and say it to their face. Girls are feckin bitches and i wanna slap those broads bitch ass feckin faces off. Yeah....venting is money.

I'm gonna quit smoking for real. Today i had my last smoke at 12:17am...i have no money and no cigs left so my goal is to get through the day with out a puff. I gotta get my voice back into top shape...so i can show-up those bitches! Mua ha ha ha ha . Yeah an 18 year old is about to rambligate on some 24 yearolds. Losers. They graduated in the 90's.. I'm new millenium baby! I'm also planning or working out tons and getting all toned up and sexyfied to piss them off more. Whoo hoo. I'm dope. I need a cigarette...this is hard.

..but anyway i'm >---< this close to tellin the both of them off and getting ghetto white girl on them. yeah

i'm bored, and now i'm hungry and thirsty.

Sunday, August 04, 2002

okay...so today my mom's stupid ex boyfriend came over and was being a total dick head and wwas like i hafta study for school...blah blah and my mom was all like really? what are you taking? how to get into girls pants 101?
it was the coolest thing i've ever heard her say, my mom is like super church lady so it was even better....i laughed for minutes. seriously.then she called him an asshole and i gave her a high five...

today i tried to quite smoking....but it didnt work and i smoked a whole pack instead of my usual nine cigs. Now i'm on edge and need nicotein even more. fuck phillip morris! he's a brilliant man ya know that. like he not only owns tobacco companies but like Kraft and some other food companies. The ass hole is like in charge of all addicting things...think about it...like Kraft macaroni and cheese is the hit it's addicting!! damn...that was a genius idea.......

i hate couples. they look all euphoric and excited about life. bastards. why the hell can ugly people have dates and not me? i swear to god, something is wrong with me. sometimes i think that i am a retarded kid but just don't know it....c'mon....like retarded kids KNOW they are retarded....they just think they are "special"....maybe that's why old people are always nice to me....it's cause they feel sorry for a retarded kid. i mean...i never road the little bus to school or anything and i had no trouble learning to ride a bike...and i passed my drivers license exam first time through (but failed the written three times in a row). maybe i am retarded. it would explain a lot. like my fixation with giraffes and body art. but back to the couples thing...as a personal request to anyone who wastes their time reading this...if you has a fuck-buddy or girl/guy friend please don't be nice to eachother in public....it would make me a lot happier and less of a loser. like i'm at the point where like even if a total gomer steps up i'm like Hey...what's your sign? it's sad....i lead a pathetic life....okay i'm gonna go kill myself now....

Saturday, August 03, 2002

dammit!! i wrote a feckin essay and stupid ass blog crapper had an error....FUCK!@

anyway....now i hafta reype all the shit i just wrote.....no...screw it.... i'm too lazy

maybe later

Friday, August 02, 2002

so yet another day has goe by andi still don't have a boyfriend and i still smoke and still don't have a job...this is rainbow. seriously. rainbow as in a gay as in a homo sorta way. not in a jesus way...

i'm hungry and want pop tarts but we dont have those in the house and my car is outta gas...god what's my problem.

so any-ass-ways here's the deal, i was gonna go the 1077 the ends belly flop concert to see goldfinger but i don't have a swim suit that doesn't have ruffles. that was gold finger not gold member...spazzes. now i;m just gonna register for classes at Green River comm, College. Good times are in my future....Miss Cleo got nuthin on me. I think i'll become a TV psychic, like that guy who talks to dead people(not the little kid) the guy from crossing over....and i'm,m gonna get dirty filthy rich and hord my millions and get fat. I'll be the fattest psychic and that'll be my claim to fame...Hmm my spellingsucks.

i need a boyfriend...i'm not fat....yet....and i like convenience store burgers and porn. okay enough for tonight....by losers

Thursday, August 01, 2002

Yeaya....1st post in da house thug! Okay here it goes, like anyone will ever read this crap heap but whatever.

So anyhow, i smoked in my room and now it reaks like ass on a zebra and i gotta get the smell out by morning cause my mom is coming home and if she smells like even incense smoke she'll bust my ass in two or three chunks. I told her i quit, but i can't and don't want to. I love smoking. Screw the surgeon general and hand me a feckin Turkish Royal dammit!!!

Know what i'm sick of? I'm sick of all these whiners talking about how life is horrible and they want to die. My advice to them is to be like Nike and Just do it. Kill yourselves. For instance if i was to kill myself i would jump off a bridge, drunk and on fire into oncoming traffic during lets say, rush hour for instance. There is almost no way to survive that. Wait no, rus hhour cars are way too slow to provide maximum impact. So maybe during around 25 minutes after rushhour when all the people are late for work and speeding. Yeah that's better...

The other day i decided to legally change my name to "Muffin Cup" or "Bunt Cake" but chickened out once i got to the SS office. My cowardliness was due in part to the stench of immigrants. WEAR SOME DEODORANT YA DAMN FRENCHIES AND KREMLIN AND ARAB PEOPLE! I mean, i know it's not their fault for the countries bad hygeine, but c'mon, it's not like we even wanted them here in the first place....so why can't they just slap on a little bitta speedstick every now and again....that's all i'm askin....don't smelll up our country ya feckin immigrants....greencard my ass